I have witnessed the future of British gameshows, and despair a little more for humanity.
Remember in the '90s when we used to sneer at low-brow foreign telly on "Tarrant on TV" and the like, cruel Japanese gameshows and vulgar European trash? Made our slightly ropey television output look good? Well how arrogant we were, our television wasn't better it was just behind the times. Well, joy, we've finally caught up with the rest of the world and, relegating most of our cultural, educational or original programming to either digital channels or the scrap heap, finally give the masses what they want. Plebs getting humiliated.
'Total Wipeout' is an international version of post-pub Japanese favourite 'Takeshi's Castle', which in this country used to feature Craig Charles off Red Dwarf making cynical remarks over the top (I guess we're too sophistocated to admit we find people falling over as funny as the rest of the world?). Contestants compete in a massive adult soft-play centre in South America (rented out to all nation's versions of the show in order to save money). They are constantly ridiculed in voice-over and rather than delight in victory we are encouraged to revell in their frequent falls - lovingly replayed in slow-mo. 'Gladiators' for the youtube generation? Richard Hammond is out of his depth as presenter, and tries to do the Craig Charles cynical voiceover with an embarrassing lack of comic timing - but he's likable enough. Some woman was there too.
Inexplicitly, this lightweight populist filler shit foreign franchise was bought by the BBC. The same one threatening to shut down excellent fringe radio stations, has all but abandoned live classical music on the radio (gave it up on TV years ago).
This programme was followed by 101 Ways To Leave A Gameshow, a show that to all intents and purposes is EXACTLY THE SAME. Blandly attractive male presenter with vaguely regional accent. Bunch of normal people humiliated for our pleasure. It's a quiz but if you get stuff wrong you get chucked off a building in a variety of (not particularly interesting) ways into some water. HAHAHA THEY GOTZ WET LOL!!!11 Due to the rules being stupid this concept is dragged out for ages (too boring to go into but when 2 people want to give the same answer, only one of them can cos only 1 can get chucked off the building at once, etc.etc.) and Mr Bland constantly explains the rules to us EVERY SINGLE TIME as if we have just channel hopped in, we are busy doing something else or are just too plain stupid to follow their simple show.
Saturday Night television continues to drive our nation to binge drinking.
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