Opens with what sounds like an extract from a documentary about secret Nazi scientific research. The majority of this release appears to be an extract from some cheesy American 80s horror film or other (can't identify which one, maybe several), complete with silly horror dialogue ('did you hear that?', 'no ... *clang* oh, NOW I do'). It's effectively spooky enough, but how much of this is due to the filmmaker rather than what was edited for this tape is another matter.
After the intro comes moody and spooky crackling classical music which segues to some pretty cheesy keyboard generic horror soundtrack music, and a woman talking about a ship breaking down, some wave noises. Some moans and creaks lead into further Halloweenish music and noises, cheesy dialogue, more footsteps and keyboard spookiness, more classical music and some slightly distorted voice and music effects (like the classical music on a turntable is being sped up/down), but mainly just sounding like a film soundtrack recorded to tape.
It's quite effective for what it is, a fun spooky cassette but I'd rather just have watched the film.
Monday, 3 January 2011
Filthy Turd - Filth mini cdr [?]
No information on this one, all it is is a picture of Mr Turd's amp with 'Filth' painted on it. We begin with a collage of voices which sounds like they have been taken from pornography, all echoey and layered but often recognisable and not quite descending into all-out noise. Some interesting use of digital-sounding reverse echo around the 2min mark, occasionally audible words (silly porn speak). By 3.30 a wall of metallic harsh noise has overwhelmed he orgy-party, clangs and high end feedback fulfill Filthy's other fetish, harsh harsh feedback/noise. Very high sounds with slow variations, harsh tones and pure feedback high in the noise mix. Despite the variation in the noise this is real teeth on edge stuff and a withering experience even on a 3"cd.
[photo coming soon]
[photo coming soon]
Ultra Fuckers - Worst City CDr [tin cans and twine]
5 track EP of scuzztronics, a strange mixture of musical styles. List of instruments includes 'ladder percussion' alongside the usual guitar, vocals, drum and electronics. Track 1 is driven and exciting with vocals and is probably in a style which ends in '-core'. 3rd track is laid-back Japanese hiphop. The final 2 tracks are live and have more prominent drums (recorded a bit low making them sound like toy drums), and ranting over the keyboard/electronics riff. Same riff and drums continue for the final track with some meandering/quite boring electric guitar improvisation (?), before ending with a bit of thrash noisiness.
Comes in a simple nasty photocopied cover and cellophane sleeve from this low-priced label, with some helpful information about Osaka (the 'Worst City in Japan' - no doubt pristine by British standards) in broken English on the back. Nice bright red coloured CDr redeems the boring cover.
[photo coming soon]
Comes in a simple nasty photocopied cover and cellophane sleeve from this low-priced label, with some helpful information about Osaka (the 'Worst City in Japan' - no doubt pristine by British standards) in broken English on the back. Nice bright red coloured CDr redeems the boring cover.
[photo coming soon]
Thursday, 15 July 2010
Saturday Night Nightmare: Total Wipeout & 101 Ways to Leave a Gameshow
I have witnessed the future of British gameshows, and despair a little more for humanity.
Remember in the '90s when we used to sneer at low-brow foreign telly on "Tarrant on TV" and the like, cruel Japanese gameshows and vulgar European trash? Made our slightly ropey television output look good? Well how arrogant we were, our television wasn't better it was just behind the times. Well, joy, we've finally caught up with the rest of the world and, relegating most of our cultural, educational or original programming to either digital channels or the scrap heap, finally give the masses what they want. Plebs getting humiliated.
'Total Wipeout' is an international version of post-pub Japanese favourite 'Takeshi's Castle', which in this country used to feature Craig Charles off Red Dwarf making cynical remarks over the top (I guess we're too sophistocated to admit we find people falling over as funny as the rest of the world?). Contestants compete in a massive adult soft-play centre in South America (rented out to all nation's versions of the show in order to save money). They are constantly ridiculed in voice-over and rather than delight in victory we are encouraged to revell in their frequent falls - lovingly replayed in slow-mo. 'Gladiators' for the youtube generation? Richard Hammond is out of his depth as presenter, and tries to do the Craig Charles cynical voiceover with an embarrassing lack of comic timing - but he's likable enough. Some woman was there too.
Inexplicitly, this lightweight populist filler shit foreign franchise was bought by the BBC. The same one threatening to shut down excellent fringe radio stations, has all but abandoned live classical music on the radio (gave it up on TV years ago).
This programme was followed by 101 Ways To Leave A Gameshow, a show that to all intents and purposes is EXACTLY THE SAME. Blandly attractive male presenter with vaguely regional accent. Bunch of normal people humiliated for our pleasure. It's a quiz but if you get stuff wrong you get chucked off a building in a variety of (not particularly interesting) ways into some water. HAHAHA THEY GOTZ WET LOL!!!11 Due to the rules being stupid this concept is dragged out for ages (too boring to go into but when 2 people want to give the same answer, only one of them can cos only 1 can get chucked off the building at once, etc.etc.) and Mr Bland constantly explains the rules to us EVERY SINGLE TIME as if we have just channel hopped in, we are busy doing something else or are just too plain stupid to follow their simple show.
Saturday Night television continues to drive our nation to binge drinking.
Remember in the '90s when we used to sneer at low-brow foreign telly on "Tarrant on TV" and the like, cruel Japanese gameshows and vulgar European trash? Made our slightly ropey television output look good? Well how arrogant we were, our television wasn't better it was just behind the times. Well, joy, we've finally caught up with the rest of the world and, relegating most of our cultural, educational or original programming to either digital channels or the scrap heap, finally give the masses what they want. Plebs getting humiliated.
'Total Wipeout' is an international version of post-pub Japanese favourite 'Takeshi's Castle', which in this country used to feature Craig Charles off Red Dwarf making cynical remarks over the top (I guess we're too sophistocated to admit we find people falling over as funny as the rest of the world?). Contestants compete in a massive adult soft-play centre in South America (rented out to all nation's versions of the show in order to save money). They are constantly ridiculed in voice-over and rather than delight in victory we are encouraged to revell in their frequent falls - lovingly replayed in slow-mo. 'Gladiators' for the youtube generation? Richard Hammond is out of his depth as presenter, and tries to do the Craig Charles cynical voiceover with an embarrassing lack of comic timing - but he's likable enough. Some woman was there too.
Inexplicitly, this lightweight populist filler shit foreign franchise was bought by the BBC. The same one threatening to shut down excellent fringe radio stations, has all but abandoned live classical music on the radio (gave it up on TV years ago).
This programme was followed by 101 Ways To Leave A Gameshow, a show that to all intents and purposes is EXACTLY THE SAME. Blandly attractive male presenter with vaguely regional accent. Bunch of normal people humiliated for our pleasure. It's a quiz but if you get stuff wrong you get chucked off a building in a variety of (not particularly interesting) ways into some water. HAHAHA THEY GOTZ WET LOL!!!11 Due to the rules being stupid this concept is dragged out for ages (too boring to go into but when 2 people want to give the same answer, only one of them can cos only 1 can get chucked off the building at once, etc.etc.) and Mr Bland constantly explains the rules to us EVERY SINGLE TIME as if we have just channel hopped in, we are busy doing something else or are just too plain stupid to follow their simple show.
Saturday Night television continues to drive our nation to binge drinking.
Saturday, 3 July 2010
Lee Nelson's Well Good Show
The warning signs were all there. It's broadcast on BBC3, famous for commissioning dreck that makes channel 5 look intellectual. The iplayer suggests it contains adult humour, despite having a photo of some Pee Wee's Playhouse cunt dressed stupidly and looking stupid - oh, it's our lovable loudmouth host himself.
The opening sketch's jokes seem to be - Mr Nelson does a 'wanker' gesture with his hand at a policeman, then he kicks a bag of chips out of a fat bloke's hands. Then he does a stupid voice. Yup, we're in regressive primary school 'post-pub territory' here.
So most of the show takes place in a studio full of whooping YOOFS while Lee Nelson - the comic creation of Simon Brodkin, from SOME OTHER SHIT BBC3 SHOWS - runs about, screams a lot, ridicules people encourages mindless school-bully chanting from the audience, with occasional sketches which aren't funny either but at least give my poor ears a miss. It comes across so gutterdraggingly awful I thought it was some kind of parody of shit comedy - but no, playing an annoying sub-Harry Enfield twat doesn't automatically make you funny, but it does make you annoying.
Shit jokes, can spot the punchlines a mile off. Is this aimed at the drunk, stupid or both? Didn't I hear that flowers from the accident blackspot chestnut twenty years ago? And didn't laugh then? Some fat bloke who he refers to as 'Omlette' and 'you fat legend' is sitting on stage for no good reason, probably just thought it was funny to have a fat bloke sitting there.
People are ridiculed and humiliated in a ridiculous laddish manner. Stupid primary school games renderred 'adult' with references to sex and drunkenness WHICH IS WHAT UZ YOOFS LIKE INNIT?!?! Someone is tricked into choosing a man as their date cos he looks like a bird from behind HA HA BUMMERS EH LADS??
Catchphrases include 'Do IT Do IT Do IT!' which the audience is encouraged to chant when someone is reluctant to do something embarassing, degrading or stupid.
Sketches ... 'Jason Bent' - and his lazy HOMO surname gets a laugh, much to my disgust - a preening, dimwitted footballer - didn't Paul Whitehouse do this in the 90s? 'Doctor Bob' - Simon Brodkin puts on a silly moustache and comedy foreign accent and does lazy insensitive/bumbling hospital gags 'Falaraki Nights' - the bizarrest of the lot, comes across as a parody of the kind of shit that Lee Nelson does in the main show but with a different accent. I almost get the impression that Brodkin, or whoever writes this shit, hates their intended audience.
Anything I've left out? Old people are laughed at for being old. Fat bloke has to do something stupid at the end. Another old person sings badly, which is supposed to be funny as well. Oh my God, when will it end?
First four episodes are on iplayer now. Check it out, if you hate yourself. I only lasted one.
The opening sketch's jokes seem to be - Mr Nelson does a 'wanker' gesture with his hand at a policeman, then he kicks a bag of chips out of a fat bloke's hands. Then he does a stupid voice. Yup, we're in regressive primary school 'post-pub territory' here.
So most of the show takes place in a studio full of whooping YOOFS while Lee Nelson - the comic creation of Simon Brodkin, from SOME OTHER SHIT BBC3 SHOWS - runs about, screams a lot, ridicules people encourages mindless school-bully chanting from the audience, with occasional sketches which aren't funny either but at least give my poor ears a miss. It comes across so gutterdraggingly awful I thought it was some kind of parody of shit comedy - but no, playing an annoying sub-Harry Enfield twat doesn't automatically make you funny, but it does make you annoying.
Shit jokes, can spot the punchlines a mile off. Is this aimed at the drunk, stupid or both? Didn't I hear that flowers from the accident blackspot chestnut twenty years ago? And didn't laugh then? Some fat bloke who he refers to as 'Omlette' and 'you fat legend' is sitting on stage for no good reason, probably just thought it was funny to have a fat bloke sitting there.
People are ridiculed and humiliated in a ridiculous laddish manner. Stupid primary school games renderred 'adult' with references to sex and drunkenness WHICH IS WHAT UZ YOOFS LIKE INNIT?!?! Someone is tricked into choosing a man as their date cos he looks like a bird from behind HA HA BUMMERS EH LADS??
Catchphrases include 'Do IT Do IT Do IT!' which the audience is encouraged to chant when someone is reluctant to do something embarassing, degrading or stupid.
Sketches ... 'Jason Bent' - and his lazy HOMO surname gets a laugh, much to my disgust - a preening, dimwitted footballer - didn't Paul Whitehouse do this in the 90s? 'Doctor Bob' - Simon Brodkin puts on a silly moustache and comedy foreign accent and does lazy insensitive/bumbling hospital gags 'Falaraki Nights' - the bizarrest of the lot, comes across as a parody of the kind of shit that Lee Nelson does in the main show but with a different accent. I almost get the impression that Brodkin, or whoever writes this shit, hates their intended audience.
Anything I've left out? Old people are laughed at for being old. Fat bloke has to do something stupid at the end. Another old person sings badly, which is supposed to be funny as well. Oh my God, when will it end?
First four episodes are on iplayer now. Check it out, if you hate yourself. I only lasted one.
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